dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
