Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
