We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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