Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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