yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
try to milk me bitch
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