I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
