Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
