So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
