I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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