This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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