her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
