you traded sex for a burrito?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
