I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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