mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
