It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
this hospital has no fireball
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
