you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think I sprained my soul last night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
