38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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