it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
