I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
