I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize