The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
