This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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