I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Alive.
So much puke
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
