oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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