Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
