u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
