i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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