I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize