I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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