i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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