sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
