dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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