Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
