My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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