We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
