I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
