I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
