So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
