People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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