BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
