Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
True strength comes from lack of pants
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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