ya dads aren't the best wingmen
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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