Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
