wakey wakey hands off snakey
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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