On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
