You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize