now i know why i became what i already was.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
