Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Acid is not a monday night drug
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
