Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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