dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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