I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
