so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
3pm strippers are depressing
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
