Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
