I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm bleeding and have questions
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
