I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
