No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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