No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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