Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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