I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
