she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
