Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize