Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
