is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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