I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
