I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize