He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
