Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize