so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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