We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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