Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
