At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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