We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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