You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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