Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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