All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
